So this weekend, Christmas Markets opened in cities up and down the UK. I’m a big fan of Christmas, who isn’t, but it’s mid-November, Halloween’s only just happened and Supermarkets are already playing Christmas songs! I love Christmas songs, but only when it’s Christmas, therefore I thought I’d share the Top 10 worst Christmas songs! The list is in no particular order, so enjoy!
Destiny’s Child – 8 Days Of Christmas
So the first one, is one that I hear every now and again, and I always forget it’s a song. I don’t know what Destiny’s Child were thinking when they made it, but it’s just dreadful, though appropriately catchy.
Elmo & Patsy – Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
I’m consistently find myself wondering “why would you bother making this song?” when I listen to some music. But Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, by Elmo & Patsy takes the crown.
Busted – Hark The Herald Angels Sing
I’m just not really sure what Busted wanted to achieve when covering Hark The Herald Angels Sing. Whatever it is, I doubt they accomplished it, given the outcome.
New Kids On The Block – Funky, Funky, Christmas
New Kids On The Block pretty much have that one song about Abercrombie & Fitch (or something). That track was very much summer themed, so it’s maybe natural that they release a song for the Winter song so that people listen to them all year round. A great theory, but the execution is somehow more disappointing than their summer hit…
Mariah Carey & Justin Beiber – All I Want For Christmas Is You
So you’re Mariah Carey, you’re sat at home with your pretty comfy life, and then you start to think “maybe I’m losing my relevance, but I don’t want my time in the spotlight to be over!”. What you should never do, is participate in a revamp of your own Christmas song with Justin Bieber idolising you in the video, it’s just creepy, and I’m not sure how much people really liked the original.
Dwight Yoakam – Come On Christmas
Christmas songs are often a mix. Some are incredibly upbeat, merry and jolly, while others pay homage to the religous aspect of Christmas. Despite all of that, Dwight Yoakam’s Come On Christmas must be the most depressing Christmas song ever. it’s so dull and dreary, even Radiohead fans will hate it. The only thing that it might have going for it, is that it balances out how overly happy most other Christmas songs are.
N’sync – Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays is probably the laziest title for a Christmas song ever. If that was all you knew about it, that would be enough to hate it. Add to that, that’s its by N’Sync and then actually listen to the song, and you’ll have confirmed that you didn’t judge this one too early.
Clearly someone thought there was a market for cheesy, squeaky clean hip-hop Christmas songs. This effort from N’Sync is definitely better than New Kids On The Block, but that says more about Funky, Funky Christmas than about Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
Cyndi Lauper – Christmas Conga
Wow! As if the whole song wasn’t horrible enough, Cyndi Lauper singing “Bonga, bonga, bonga, Do the Christmas conga” is another level of why? I don’t want to comment on the middle bit.
Justin Bieber & Busta Rhymes – Drummer Boy
I’m so glad that someone decided to Cover Drummer Boy. But I’m not sure that Justin Beiber and Busta Rhymes was what the original was missing…
TLC – Sleigh Ride
From this list, you’re probably getting the vibe that I just don’t like ’90s R&B/Hip-hop, and while you wouldn’t be wrong, TLC’s biggest hit ‘No Scrubs’, is terrific. Their Christmas song however is pretty atrocious, it’s incredibly clichéd with a new twist that makes it that much worse.
Thus concludes my list of terrible Christmas songs, I hope it wasn’t too painful for you, and I expect you’ll look forward to next month’s instalment where I reveal my 10 favourite Christmas songs!